Ronald Alexander

Adapted from Dr. Ronald Alexander’s new book, Wise Mind, Open Mind: Finding Purpose and Meaning in Times of Crisis, Loss, and Change (New Harbinger Publications, 2009).

The majority of my clients resist mindfulness meditation at first, although the time commitment is small and the payoff is enormous. One insisted that it wasn’t necessary and that she didn’t have enough time in her day to devote to a regular practice. Then she went through the loss of a parent, and had such trouble coping that she couldn’t even drag herself out of bed. After missing work ten days straight, she called me for my advice. I told her to mindfully meditate while in bed. Terrified and bewildered, my client did and, in a few days, found that she could face going to work again. After that, whenever she was in an overwhelming state of grief or so distracted that she couldn’t focus, she would close her door, tell her assistant to hold all her calls and do a five minute meditation. Slowly, her grief lessened.

Typically, those who resist meditation are buying in to one of the following four common myths that create resistance to regular mindfulness meditation practice.

Myth 1: “I’m too restless and busy to learn to be quiet and practice any form of meditation.” Just twenty minutes on a meditation cushion twice each day will cause you to need less sleep, be more productive and less distracted, and make the most of your time during the day. When you first begin to meditate, you’re likely to experience many mental distractions. Rather than judge yourself; simply observe any disruptive thoughts, feelings, or sensations and set them aside. You’ll never have complete freedom from distractions, but with practice, it’ll be easier to quickly turn down the volume on them. As your concentration abilities increase, so will your mindstrength. Quickly, you’ll discover that you can simply rest and relax into the moment, enjoying the sense of spaciousness and abundance.

Myth 2: “If I practice mindfulness, it will put out the fire of my ambition and creativity.” Mindfulness practice seems to ground restless people, transforming their energy from a chaotic, even manic, discharge to a more focused and heightened exuberance that then can be channeled into productivity. If you’re uncomfortable with the thought of slowing down your mental output because you think you’ll lose something valuable, keep in mind that this is not the goal of mindfulness practice. Instead this approach will allow you to access some of the vitality and passion you associate with mania.

Myth 3: “If I practice mindfulness, what I’ll discover will be so upsetting that I’ll become paralyzed with fear.” The fear of what will arise from the subconscious isn’t entirely irrational, but the chances of experiencing intense discomfort while mindfully meditating are slim. Emotions that remain buried have no chance of dissipating, and will remain as an underlying toxin that affects the functioning of the mind and body. If you’ve been avoiding painful feelings and thoughts for a long time, you may not be able to handle more than a five-minute-long session of mindfulness meditation initially, and you may need someone with you to support you in your process of uncovering this pain. A skilled psychologist or mindfulness meditation teacher can be enormously helpful in guiding you through these emotions and modulating their intensity.

Myth 4: “Practicing mindfulness meditation will conflict with my religious beliefs.” The practice of mindfulness meditation is free of religious and spiritual dogma. In fact, if you believe in turning to God for guidance, you can use mindfulness meditation to set aside distractions and listen to the divine wisdom that can be found only when you tune out the endless chain of thoughts your own mind creates. This form of meditation turns down the volume of the chatter in your mind and allows you to tune in to deeper wisdom and insight. Mindfulness practice is a pathway to discovery that any of us can use, regardless of our religious or spiritual beliefs.

By cultivating mindfulness, you allow yourself to hear even the subtlest messages from the unconscious. You can be awakened with a gentle nudge instead of a splash of icy water. Embracing your circumstances despite the pain, you can craft a fulfilling life that’s infused with passion and originality, driven by a sense of purpose, and in sync with your values and priorities.

Ronald Alexander, Ph.D. is the author of the just released book, Wise Mind, Open Mind: Finding Purpose and Meaning in Times of Crisis, Loss, and Change. He is the director of the OpenMind Training® Institute, practices mindfulness-based mind-body psychotherapy and leadership coaching in Santa Monica, CA, for individuals and corporate clients. He has taught personal and clinical training groups for professionals in Integral Psychotherapy, Ericksonian mind-body healing therapies, mindfulness meditation, and Buddhist psychology nationally and internationally since 1970. (www.openmindtraining.com)

In “Second Sight” I describe many theories to explain déjà vu: a memory of a dream, a precognition, a coincidental overlapping of events or even a past life experience in which we rekindle ancient alliances. What matters is that it draws us closer to the mystical. It is an offering, an opportunity for additional knowledge about ourselves and others.

During a trip to Africa, Carl Jung described a feeling of déjà vu when he viewed a slim, black man leaning on a spear looking down at his train as it made a turn around a steep cliff on the way to Nairobi. He writes, “I had the feeling that I had already experienced this moment and had always known this world.” Although this world and this man were something alien to him, he saw the whole thing as perfectly natural. He called this a recognition of what was “immemorially known.”

In Western culture, we are brought up to consider anyone who isn’t an immediate member of our circle of friends and family to be a stranger. Yet at times, you meet people whom you feel as if you have known for years. You can talk to them about anything and they understand. You laugh easily with them. The tone of their voice, the way they take their coffee, all seem commonplace. It isn’t that they remind you of someone else or that their qualities are simply endearing. You relate to them not as strangers, but as people with whom you have shared history, members of the same tribe.

A patient of mine named Shannon knew that she was going to marry her husband the day that they met. She had dated a lot of men following her divorce, but none of them felt right. Then, she met Bob. There was something about the way he smiled, the glint of his hair, his voice and the shape of his hands, that made her think that they had known each other before. After talking it was clear that their paths had never crossed, but after their first lunch date, they became inseparable. What Shannon and Bob immediately felt for each other was more than just physical chemistry. It was a natural compatibility and a depth of intimacy that usually emerges after couples are together for many years. They were married two months after they met and have been together now for ten years.

I’m often asked how to tell the difference between a feeling of déjà-vu when we first meet someone and an attraction stemming from an addictive obsession. Some addiction specialists say that whenever you meet someone and an explosion of fireworks go off, this is a sign not of true love, but of one neurosis meeting another. They suggest that you run as fast as you can in the opposite direction.

Based upon my work with the recovering community, I agree that there is a strong tendency among addicts and some non-addicts to try to “fix” themselves with love and sex, rushing prematurely into relationships inspired only by intense physical attraction. They often have nothing to do with déjà-vu, but stem rather from a basic emptiness that longs to be filled. There is no true bond between the people involved, they hardly know each other, and these partnership attempts fail miserably when the pink glow of newness wears off.

The fact that an encounter feels compelling or immediate doesn’t necessarily mean that it is healthy or unhealthy. The experience of déjà vu must always be approached discerningly. However, mostly déjà-vu experiences are not obsessive or compulsive. They rather convey a quality that is quiet and solid..

The possibility of having a déjà vu is inherent in partnerships of all kinds, particularly the more intimate ones. It can occur in  business, friendships and family, often leading to pivotal outcomes that can impact the direction of our life

There are situations that are glitches in time, when the rules bend and the mystery takes hold. Enchanted moments that sparkle. These are deja-vus. They can take place anywhere, at any time and with anyone. Your real estate agent might show you a house that feels so familiar and right, you instantly know it is yours. Or perhaps you are in a restaurant and sense an inexplicable kinship with a woman sitting in the back corner booth. Don’t let these possibilities pass you by. Take notice; investigate. There is no way of predicting where each might lead or what it will teach you. Summoning the courage to take a chance and act on synchronicities, to have faith in what is not yet visible, will make the experience your own.

Judith Orloff MD is author of the bestseller Second Sight: An Intuitive Psychiatrist Tells Her Story and Show You How to Tap Your Own Inner Wisdom (Three Rivers Press, 2010), upon which this article is based. A UCLA psychiatrist, Dr. Orloff synthesizes the pearls of traditional medicine with cutting edge knowledge of intuition, subtle energy, and spirituality.

For Judith’s workshop schedule, free articles, videos and more inspiration visit www.drjudithorloff.com

So where do you begin? When the inquisitive spark of light ignites, most of us seek a deeper understanding into the spiritual. Often we begin by delving to self-help books, or books that are spiritual and holistic in nature. These types of books assist us on our journey within; and we become excited as we start to see all the possibilities of change; the words suddenly come to life and it enables us to visually imagine what needs to be done. Reading about conscious and unconscious change, practical spirituality, and holistic therapies are the real catalyst to transformation. It is research in to “self” and identifying with the aspects of our lives that are creating the dis-ease of our very nature and environment.

However, there is one tiny thing that tackles us as we embark on the road to self help; as we begin to realize the aspects of our “selves” that need serious change we suddenly become the creatures of habit we are all too familiar with. We become stapled to the ground in that recognition: fear, insecurity, anguish, and stress begin to settle in as stagnancy. To unveil those aspects and seeing ourselves in the true light of day is a scary thing. The realization alone begins to take on a life of its own. The questions about yourself start to bombard you: “am I really this way?” “When did I become so angry, insecure, and fearful?” The road to self discovery and having to do it alone becomes way too cumbersome and then… “I need help – I cannot do this alone!”

The good news is, that as dark or hopeless as your personal situation may seem, what is really happening is a miraculous breakthrough in self awareness. Creating necessary change for the betterment of our lives daunting, and you do not need to work at this alone, there are several qualified light workers that can aid you by giving you direction and guidance in a modality of services in spiritual wellness such as: Spiritual Life Coaching and Counseling – spiritual integration that allows you to get to the very foundation of your issues and begins to heal them from the root cause, Channeled Readings – a sacred pathway of messages from the other side, Intuitive Psychic Development – personal journey into your intuitive awareness that will help you to create and expand insight into your life, and Spiritual Cleansings – The releasing of stagnant energetic vibrations, that alter and affect your quality of life and the causes of dis-ease in your surroundings. Each is just a few of the stepping stones towards establishing a life filled with self love and enlightenment. Living a spiritual life is the merging of your higher self in your physical presence, thereby creating a life that is richly purposeful no matter what direction you choose. Having clarity in “self” means having a clear direction and that is not based on just the physical ego personality.

Holistic Wellness is healing of the physical self through spiritual means. Holistic healing is not traditional medicinal practice and not is it intended to be a medical approach at all. It is in fact energetic in nature. Our bodies are energy, when we apply divine energy into the body with healings such as: Color and Sound healing – color and sound is the use of vocal toning, tuning forks and color pomanders in each of the Chakra systems to attune imbalances through-out the body that may be causing ailments on many different levels, Lotus Trance Healing – the energetic stimulation of cell energy through the use of lotus massage (not traditional massage) with applied spiritual soothing followed by spiritually infused healing, and Hypnosis/Hypnotherapy: Past Life and Age Regression – It enables you to explore your transpersonal subconscious mind beyond the usual limits of ego and personality. It is a journey back through time that allows you to recall past events that may have led to symptoms or difficulties in the present time. Additionally a professional Hypnotist/Hypnotherapist is required to thoroughly explain that the use of Hypnosis is for the intention to motivate, eliminate negative or unwanted habits, facilitate the learning process, improve memory and concentration, develop self-confidence, spiritual abilities, and for other endeavors of a non-medical nature.

This is an exciting time to begin your shift in awareness, it is already happening globally. We have the perseverance and motivation to do our part on this planet Mother Earth. As you begin to take the steps into creating a more purposeful life – a life in awareness, of shift and change you will discover the impact of knowing your true higher self. Imagine a blissful life of unconditional love for self and others, wisdom, and knowledge that has been given to you as a gift for the divine source of light, not only to help yourself, but to assist others on the road of self enlightenment and discovery. The change begins with you and your only requirement is an open heart and the willingness to heal all the aspects of your life. You are the creator of your world; take charge and capture a profound journey in the core of your very being – the real you.

If you’re ready to make a change or for more information a on any of the services mentioned in this article please visit www.mysticalcorner.com

In light and oneness,

Tricia Saborio-Koike,
Owner and founder of Mystical Corner

We’re slowly adding a book review feature to all books at Spirituality Bookshop. This is obviously a slow process but we will endeavor to have a review feature on every book available by the end of April 2010! Well that’s the plan anyway!

It will be pretty simple to leave a review, and any feedback on what we have provided in terms of function is, as always, very well received!

Everyone should start seeing a review option below each books dedicated page soon. If you would like to leave a review in the meantime it is possible using the Contact Form on the website.

Customer reviews are an integral part of our website and something we value a great deal.

Here are a few tips and suggestions if you are thinking about contributing with a Book Review at Spirituality Bookshop.

Genuine Book Review

• Your review should be a genuine review of the book, discussing the quality of the book and your opinion of it. Make your review as informative and detailed as possible. The best reviews include not only whether you liked or disliked the book, but also why. Feel free to mention other books you consider similar and how this book rates in comparison.

Writing to a Friend

• While you’re writing, try thinking of your reader as a friend to whom you’re telling a story.

Theme of the Book

• Try to get the main theme of the book across in the beginning of your review. Your reader should know right away what he or she is getting into should they choose to read the book!

Short Quotes

• Try using a few short quotes from the book to illustrate your points. This is not absolutely necessary, but it’s a good way to give your reader a sense of the author’s writing style.

Decisions Decisions

• Another good way to approach writing a book review is to imagine that you are deciding whether to buy a particular book: what information could you put in your review that might help other customers with this decision?

As we said earlier in this post: Customer reviews are an integral part of our website and something we value a great deal.

We hope to be hearing from you soon.

Blessings!

We are one of the few shopping websites which do not make you either login or make an account to purchase our Spiritual Books. Paying with Paypal is convenient and easy if you already have an account. And don’t worry if you don’t have a Paypal account, you can still use your credit card when you checkout using the Paypal shopping cart, without having to login to a Paypal account.

Below is a video tutorial showing how easy it is to use our website, Happy Shopping!

It couldn’t be easier shopping at Spirituality Bookshop

That’s why today, we are very pleased to announce that we have opened a UK version of the number one Spiritual Book Website. When coming to the site you will now have the option to change your currency and shop in your preferred currency of either US Dollars or British Pounds.

The top right corner has the preferred currency options so just clicking on either flag will change the currency that you shop and check out in! Simple!

Enjoy shopping!